Domestic Abuse

Domestic Abuse Help & Support

At DORCAS, we aim to support individuals affected by FGM and work tirelessly to put an end to this harmful and illegal practice through care, advocacy, and education.

What Is Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse includes patterns of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading or violent behaviour, including emotional/psychological, physical, sexual, financial/economic abuse, stalking/harassment and digital/tech-facilitated abuse. It can be by a partner, ex-partner or family member and can happen to anyone.

Domestic abuse is a serious and pervasive issue that goes far beyond a single act of violence. It is a pattern of behaviour used by one person to maintain power and control over another person in an intimate or family relationship.

The UK Government Definition of Domestic Abuse

The UK’s legal definition of domestic abuse, as set out in the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, is any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been, “personally connected.”

The definition is intentionally broad to cover various forms of abuse and is not limited to physical violence.

Abusive Behaviour can include, but is not limited to:

Physical or sexual abuse: This includes physical violence, as well as sexual violence, coercion, and unwanted sexual contact.
Violent or threatening behaviour: This covers a wide range of actions intended to cause fear or harm.
Controlling or coercive behaviour: This is defined as a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation, and intimidation, or other abuse used to harm, punish, or frighten the victim.
Economic abuse: A key addition to the legal definition, this refers to any behaviour that has a substantial adverse effect on the victim’s ability to acquire, use, or maintain money or other property, or to obtain goods or services.
Psychological, emotional, or other abuse: This is a broad category that covers many forms of non-physical harm, such as “gaslighting,” belittling, and isolation.

Who is “Personally Connected”?

A person is considered “personally connected” to another if they are, or have been:

Married or civil partners.
In an intimate personal relationship.
Engaged to be married or to enter a civil partnership.
Have a parental relationship in relation to the same child.

Children as Victims

Importantly, the Act also recognises that a child is a victim of domestic abuse in their own right if they see, hear, or experience the effects of the abuse and are related to the adult victim or perpetrator.

Harmful Practices

Harmful practices, such as female genital mutilation (FGM), so-called “honour”-based abuse, and forced marriage, also fall under the umbrella of domestic abuse. This is because these practices are abusive and typically involve violent acts that are carried out or arranged by family members.

Detailed Breakdown of Abusive Behaviours

The government’s definition intentionally broadens the understanding of domestic abuse beyond physical violence. Here is a more detailed look at the different forms of abuse:

Controlling and Coercive Behaviour: This is a core component of domestic abuse.

Coercion is a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation, and intimidation used to harm, punish, or frighten the victim.

Control is a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent. This can involve isolating them from support, exploiting their resources, and regulating their daily behaviour, such as where they can go, who they can see, and what they can wear.

Emotional/Psychological Abuse: This is the foundation of almost all domestic abuse. It includes “gaslighting” (making the victim doubt their own sanity or perception of reality), constant criticism, name-calling, and belittling. The abuse can also be directed at the victim’s children or pets to cause distress.

Physical Abuse: This includes a wide range of behaviours, from hitting and pushing to the use of weapons, strangulation, or suffocation. While often seen as the most obvious form of abuse, it is rarely the only one.

Sexual Abuse: This involves any unwanted sexual activity, including rape, sexual assault, pressuring someone into unwanted acts, or controlling their access to contraception. This can occur within a marriage or intimate relationship and is still a crime.

Economic Abuse: This is a distinct type of abuse that can be just as damaging as physical violence. It involves a person gaining control over a victim’s finances and resources. This can include:

Controlling access to money, credit cards, or bank accounts.

Forcing the victim to quit their job or preventing them from seeking employment.

Running up debts in the victim’s name.

Stealing money or assets.

Other Forms of Abuse: The definition is intentionally broad to include other harmful behaviours, such as:

Stalking and Harassment: Repeated unwanted contact, surveillance, or following.

Digital/Tech-facilitated Abuse: Monitoring a person’s phone, social media, or email; tracking their location; or sharing private images without consent.

“Honour”-based Abuse (HBA): This is a specific form of abuse where a person is harmed to protect the “honour” of a family or community. It can include forced marriage, physical abuse, or even murder.

Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) – A procedure where the female genitals are deliberately cut, injured, or changed for non-medical reasons. It is also known by other terms, such as female cutting, female circumcision, or by various community-specific names like Sunna, gudniin, or tahur

Key Concepts in the Definition

“Personally Connected”: The definition applies to a wide range of relationships, not just current partners. This includes ex-partners, family members, and people who have a parental relationship to the same child. This is crucial for capturing post-separation abuse and familial abuse.

Aged 16 and Over: The definition applies to adults aged 16 and over. Abusive behaviour involving someone under 16 is considered child abuse, which has its own legal frameworks.

Pattern of Behaviour: The definition recognises that abuse is rarely a single incident. It is a course of conduct that creates a climate of fear and control.

In immediate danger: call 999. If you can’t speak, press 55 when prompted (the Silent Solution).

If you need to leave this page quickly, most support sites have a quick exit button.

Safe Spaces: many pharmacies/banks offer private rooms to call a helpline or plan safely. Ask staff for a Safe Space. (The government’s Ask for ANI codeword scheme has concluded; Safe Spaces continues UK-wide.) enough.campaign.gov.uk UK SAYS NO MORE

Clare’s Law (Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme): you can ask West Midlands Police if a partner poses a risk, or request information about yourself.

Support for Black & Minoritised, Refugee and Asylum-Seeking Survivors

People from Black and minority ethnic (BME) communities in the UK often face significant and interconnected barriers to reporting or seeking support for domestic abuse. These barriers are a result of both systemic issues and cultural factors.

Cultural and Community Barriers

Shame and Honour

In some communities, domestic abuse is considered a private family matter. Reporting it can be seen as bringing shame or dishonour upon the family or community. This pressure can be intense, leading individuals to stay silent to protect their family’s reputation.

Patriarchal Norms

Many cultures have strong patriarchal values, where male dominance is the norm and women are expected to be submissive. This can lead to the normalisation of abuse and make it very difficult for women to speak out without fear of being ostracised or blamed.

Extended Family Abuse

Unlike in the “nuclear family” model often assumed by support services, abuse can be perpetrated by multiple family members, such as in-laws, making it harder for the victim to find a safe escape route.

Forced Marriage and "Honour"-Based Abuse

These specific forms of abuse are often not understood or recognised by mainstream services, and victims may fear that reporting will lead to further harm or being cut off from their family entirely.

Lack of culturally competent services

BME individuals may feel that mainstream services don’t understand their specific experiences, cultural context, or the complexities of their abuse. This leads to a lack of trust and reluctance to seek help.

Systemic and Institutional Barriers

Mistrust of Police: A history of institutional racism and a lack of trust in the police force is a major barrier. Many BME individuals feel they will not be taken seriously, their reports will be mishandled, or they will be treated differently because of their ethnicity. Research has shown that BME victims are disproportionately dismissed or side-lined by the police.

Immigration Status: Perpetrators often use a victim’s insecure immigration status as a tool for control, threatening them with deportation if they report the abuse. For those with “no recourse to public funds” (NRPF), a fear of being unable to access housing and financial support is a significant deterrent to leaving an abusive relationship.

Language Barriers: Victims who do not speak English as a first language may find it difficult to communicate with support services or law enforcement, and may not have access to appropriate interpreters.

Financial Dependence: Victims may be financially dependent on their abuser and lack the resources to leave. This is often compounded by insecure immigration status or limited work opportunities.

Common barriers and what can help:

Immigration & NRPF concerns

Fear of deportation, inability to access benefits/housing, or being told you can’t get help. Seek free legal advice; some survivors may get limited concessions or routes to safety via specialist immigration advice (e.g., Rights of Women; Southall Black Sisters). National Domestic Abuse Helpline Karma Nirvana

Language & interpretation

Ask services to arrange professional interpreters (not family/community members).

Community pressure & “honour”-based abuse/forced marriage

Specialist help is available (Karma Nirvana, Forced Marriage Unit, Ask Marc/BCWA, Roshni Birmingham). Mankind galop.org.uk Black Country Womens Aid Roshni

Digital & Tech-abuse

Perpetrators may track devices; ask an advocate about safe tech use and covering your tracks online (most sites explain how to hide history).

Trauma of displacement

Refugees/asylum seekers may have limited networks, trauma history and precarious housing; ask about culturally-competent counselling and advocacy (e.g., Roshni Birmingham; Ashiana services that support BAMER/migrant women). Roshni Ashiana Sheffield

What DORCAS Can Do For You

Safety planning: personalised plans (home, work, children, digital safety).

Refuge & housing: Support to access emergency accommodation and resettlement pathways.

Independent advocates: Both male and female support workers. IDVAs/ help with risk assessments, court orders (non-molestation, occupation orders), criminal justice and child contact.

Health & wellbeing: trauma-informed counselling, mental health support, and help to access GP/sexual health services.

Money & practical help: Support in applying and signposting for benefits, NRPF advice routes, debt and economic abuse advocacy.

Children & young people: specialist play therapy and school-liaison where available.

Local culturally-specific services:

Anawim – Birmingham’s Centre for Women

https://anawim.co.uk

Anawim is for every woman. Take that first step by reaching out to us. We will listen to you and support you without judgement.

Roshni Birmingham – supports Black & minoritised survivors; refuge, outreach, multilingual helpline and counselling; expertise in forced marriage and “honour”-based abuse. Roshni+1

WAITS supports women from Black and ethnic minority communities, offering services like domestic abuse support, community integration, refuge, and volunteering.

Ashiana (Sheffield & national outreach) – specialist support/refuge for BAMER and migrant women (can advise nationally). Ashiana Sheffield

Local Specialist Services (West Midlands)

Wolverhampton

The Haven Wolverhampton (women & children) – 24/7 helpline 08000 194 400; refuge, community & IDVA support; webchat (office hours). win.wolverhampton.gov.uk The Haven

Sandwell, Dudley & Walsall (and wider Black Country)

Black Country Women’s Aid (BCWA) – 24/7 helpline 0121 552 6448; text/WhatsApp 07384 466181 (9am–9pm Mon–Fri). Services for all genders; refuges; IDVA/ISVA; stalking; modern slavery; children & young people. Black Country Womens Aid healthysandwell.co.uk

Ask Marc (for men and boys in the Black Country) – specialist support for men experiencing domestic abuse, sexual violence, stalking, forced marriage or so-called “honour”-based abuse. (Ask Marc is run by BCWA.) Ask Marc Black Country Womens Aid

Birmingham & Solihull

Birmingham & Solihull Women’s Aid (BSWA) – helpline 0808 800 0028 (Mon–Fri 9:30–5); refuges; community support; drop-ins. Birmingham Solihull Women’s Aid+1

Tip: If lines are busy locally, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247 (24/7) can help you reach local refuge and community services. National Domestic Abuse Helpline

"A safe space to talk, heal, and support global sisterhood"

National & Specialist Helplines (all genders unless stated)

National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge, women & children) – 0808 2000 247 (24/7). National Domestic Abuse Helpline

Men’s Advice Line (Respect) – 0808 801 0327 (men experiencing abuse). Southall Black Sisters

ManKind Initiative – 01823 334244 (men experiencing abuse). Men’s Advice Line

Galop – 0800 999 5428 (LGBTQ+ domestic abuse & sexual violence). Mankind

Rape & Sexual Abuse Support Line (Rape Crisis England & Wales) – 0808 500 2222 (24/7); phone or online chat. Rape Crisis England & Wales 24/7 Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Line

National Stalking Helpline (Suzy Lamplugh Trust) – 0808 802 0300; advice and advocacy. suzylamplugh.org

Karma Nirvana – 0800 5999 247 (so-called “honour”-based abuse & forced marriage). Mankind

Forced Marriage Unit (FCDO) – 020 7008 0151 (Mon–Fri), or +44 20 7008 5000 out of hours (ask for Global Response Centre). galop.org.uk

Southall Black Sisters – helpline/support for Black and minoritised women, including no recourse to public funds (NRPF) and immigration issues. Karma Nirvana

Rights of Women – immigration & asylum law advice line for women affected by VAWG/abuse (varied hours). National Domestic Abuse Helpline

Samaritans – 116 123 (24/7) emotional support if you’re distressed or struggling to cope. Samaritans

Area-by-Area Quick Contacts

Birmingham & Solihull:
• BSWA 0808 800 0028 (Mon–Fri) – refuges, community support. Birmingham Solihull Women’s Aid
• National helpline 0808 2000 247 (24/7). National Domestic Abuse Helpline
• Roshni Birmingham (minoritised communities/forced marriage & HBA). Roshni

Dudley:
• BCWA (24/7) 0121 552 6448; local Cedar Centre; evening appts; text/WhatsApp option. Black Country Womens Aid healthysandwell.co.uk

Walsall:
• BCWA services locally (refuge, community, sexual violence). 0121 552 6448. Black Country Womens Aid

Wolverhampton:
• The Haven Wolverhampton (women & children) 08000 194 400 (24/7). win.wolverhampton.gov.uk
• For police disclosure requests (Clare’s Law), contact West Midlands Police. NRPF Network

Sandwell:
• BCWA (24/7) 0121 552 6448; text/WhatsApp 07384 466181. healthysandwell.co.uk

For men across the Black Country (Sandwell, Dudley, Walsall, Wolverhampton):
• Ask Marc (BCWA) – specialist male service (domestic/sexual violence, stalking, forced marriage/HBA). Ask Marc